I Am Me

Tuesday, May 3

Oh my gosh, I'm so opposed to coupling right now. I do NOT want a relationship with anyone. I'm so busy exploring myself, living my LIFE. Getting involved is just gonna ruin all that. I'm happy with my family life, with my friends, and I'm almost done with academia. Right now, a relationship is not something I need, or want. I'm single, yet not available, and PROUD of it.

Shit, that's quite ironic... a young, single, yet unavailable bisexual woman. Hmm. Am I building massively huge walls around my heart? Am I putting myself out as available and then rejecting people who get too close? I don't think so, but I may be too close to this situation to tell.

I was watching a bunch of couples dancing at a senior high school prom...and I was thinking how much I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want someone else to dance with me, not in public, not for show, not for anyone but me. Although... I do miss human touch. It's very enjoyable for me when someone hugs me, touches me, uses my name...Kim...

And now, if you're reading this, you might be thinking, just cause I'm bi, that means hugs, human touch, every action invokes my sexual arousal -- and you'd be wrong.

Once again, to reiterate, I'd like to remind everyone that just cuz I'm bi does not mean I want to get with everyone I meet. It just means I'm attracted to both genders, i.e. the person on the inside means more to me than the package embodying that person. Genetalia, schmenetalia. It's all skin, it all has nerve endings. I like all types of chocolates in the box, but that doesn't mean I'm always in the mood for chocolate, or that I enjoy all types all at once, or that I need to alternate between the chocolates with nuts and those without. I enjoy chocolate when I want, with what kind I want, with the quantity I want, and I decide if I want nuts or not.

If you're still not clear, feel free to dialogue with me. Kim-Schneidman@augustana.edu

Kim 7:58 PM |