I Am Me

Sunday, February 20

This is so weird.

Some moments, I'll feel really really good about myself. I'll feel like a sexy cool suave woman who could take on the world, if only she took the proper steps forward. And then suddenly I'll become really self-conscious about not being size 2, especially since I gained back some of the weight I lost when I got so depressed exactly a month ago. Stupid Black Wednesday. Why can't I be normal? Oh I know why. Because if I didn't feel so awful about myself, I'd never want to improve on myself. If I wasn't so driven to improve myself all the time, maybe I'd never inspire others to improve themselves. If others didn't improve on themselves, then the world would never change.

It just occurred to me, this logic doesn't make any sense.

I'm taking on the weight of attempting to change the world, all on my own? Who am I, Mother Teresa? I don't have the faith required for such an undertaking! I'm an atheist! I don't have the strength of God in me...I don't even think God exists...

What the hell am I doing, then?

Kim 12:20 AM |