I Am Me

Thursday, March 25

This is an excerpt of an email I wrote last night (Tuesday) in the wee hours between midnight and sunrise to a very strong-willed, influential friend of mine.

I know it's late, but I told you I would write you an email. :-) Besides, today was important!

Ok, first of all, you're an amazing guy. Seriously. Your speech today, at times, made me cry. Now, that's not a bad thing. I cried, because it's really depressing how some people in this country, in this world think less of you, simply cuz you like guys. Dude, I think more of you, because of all the shit you've gone through. I think it's made you a really strong person.

I know a lot of people introduced themselves tonight with, "I wasn't going to speak, but. . . ". See, the people who didn't plan to speak, I think, definitely had something to say. And one of the messages I got tonight, was to stand up and speak against hatred. If we can't speak in a nonhostile environment, surrounded by friends, how are people ever going to find the courage to speak in smaller groups in a more hostile situation?

What usually happens at these rallies we have on campus (like the anti-racist rally last year) is this:
There'll be a sizable group that shows up at the rally, but then after that, nothing changes. We had the vagina monologues here, and we stirred up a lot of controversy. However, nothing happened afterwards. There was no uprising of vagina supporters post-monologues. What tends to happen is interest almost completely dies away. We had the antiracist rally during lunchtime, and then a discussion thingy at 7 that night. About 1/10th of the people showed up to the discussion as did the number of people at the morning rally.

It's disturbing how easily this college campus forgets that people are being attacked constantly.

Whether it's with words, physical attacks, or overt behavior, it's still happening. And it's still disturbing.

It's really important to me, as it should be to every American, that every single human being be treated equally. We are all just as important, just as valid as the next person, no matter what gender, creed, race, sexual orientation, or other description you can think of that describes a person.

The whole issue with the Defense of Marriage Act. See, there are just so many things WRONG with this. Let me see if I can name them.
1) I don't think it's right to have the government tell me who I can & cannot marry. If I fall in love with a man, it's fine. The government approves. Hoo-fucking-ray. If I fall in love with someone who completes me, but just so happens to be female, then OH NO... the government doesn't approve of THIS, but I did not ask the government for approval of how I live my life.
2) A lot of sentiment going into the whole gay-marriage-is-a-sin position, comes from a religious perspective. However, last time I checked, this United States of America had a SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE. This means we can't be having religious laws here. Ergo, we can't have laws against gay marriage, because that would be a violation of the separation of church & state.
3) Biggest issue here: EQUALITY. It's so important, I'll redundantly repetitiously repeat myself. EQUALITY. If I have the right to marry a man, then you should have the right to marry a man. Since you have the right to marry a woman (not that I see that happening in the near future) , I should have the right to marry a woman. Most importantly, we all have the right to pursue happiness. That should include marrying whomever you damn well please.
4) This amendment tells nonheterosexuals that they are not okay, they are unacceptable, and they will not even be tolerated in this society. Forget acceptance. If this amendment goes through, tolerance won't even exist.
5) A lot of people in American society are against pre-marital sex. If a nonheterosexual decided to try to conform to that standard of no sex before marriage, then they would never EVER have sex. I think most of all, this DOMA is about preventing nonheterosexuals fom getting it on. But there's something the government does not understand. And that is that no matter how many laws are passed, you can't change a homosexual into a heterosexual, you can't prevent gay sex from happening, and you shouldn't be telling some Americans to change and tell others they are fine.
6) Furthermore, don't anti-sodomy laws include oral sex? Why didn't Clinton or Monica Lewinsky get arrested for sodomy? They are apparently the worst transgressors of this, according to Ken Starr.


There is nothing different between heterosexuals and everyone else that warrants a lesser degree of equal rights. We all deserve equal treatment. Why the fuck does everybody else not seem to get this? Like you shouted tonight, you're gay.

Big deal.

There's something else wrong with this picture of hatred, too. People aren't just 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual or exactly 100% bisexual. I believe there are varying degrees in sexual orientation. How are we expected to feel comfortable exploring ourselves, finding out who we are, if we're constantly afraid, if we always fear that around the next corner lurks someone, hating us to the core, for even considering deviating from their line of heterosexuals. How are Americans expected to properly communicate if we fear our own feelings, especially expressing our true selves in front of others?

However, I shouldn't feel any pressure to decide to label myself a certain way. I shouldn't be worried that I'll never be married, never be happy, never have kids. Life shouldn't be about worries; it should be about the meaningful relationships I have with others. It shouldn't matter who I associate with, or who I love.

It should just matter that I love.

Kim 12:49 AM |