I Am Me

Friday, March 5

So, I work at this store. We'll call it, um, how about, "Kmart" - even though it really isn't Kmart - because the Kmart in my town is out of business. So, me & um, let's call my anonymous friend, "Bologna Head", (her suggestion) anyhoo, we work at this "Kmart", and we basically fucking hate it. No, wait, that's not accurate. We completely fucking hate it. There are so many things that drive us out of our heads about retail, and today, I'm willing to entertain the notion of listing these issues.

Top Ten Issues at "Kmart":
1. Working 6 hours straight without a fucking break or lunch.
2. Having to fill out an availability sheet 4 times or possibly more just to get our schedules straight.
3. Listening to the fucking "guests" vent to us over abso-fucking-lutely nothing relevant.
4. We refer to our paying (and nonpaying) customers as "Guests." How fucking stupid is that? I'm sure if a "guest" came into your home, you would want them to treat you with respect. However, even though these "guests" are not lodging overnight, or anything remotely similar to "hospitality" they think they own my fucking time for the next 8 hours or until I punch out. Just wait until we punch them out.
5. Why is it that the "guests" feel the need to treat us like fucking slaves, when we don't get paid enough to care about their goddamn issues? They think they can get away with anything, and it's supposed to be fine, because the customer is always right. Fuck the customer, fuck the company, fuck the goddamn motherfucking system of goddamn retail.
6. Also, although we are a store that is open 24 hours/day, 7 fucking days/week, that doesn't mean I have to fucking care about John Q. Public 24 hours/day, 7 fucking days/week.
7. Fucking "transformation" in progress. This fucking 84 year old president thinks he can reform the company and bring it into the fucking "new normal". What the FUCK is the new normal, you may ask? Well, it's this fucking concept they came up with that means almost jack-fucking-shit. Except, that it's supposed to mean we have to be able to compete with supercenters like fucking "walmart". Anyhoo, "kmart" is basically "reinterpreting" the job descriptions of the baggers, by making them clean the fucking bathrooms, and get the shopping carts is order by holding the baggers accountable with a quota of a certain number of carts per hour.
8. Also, we're supposed to have "scan & bag" shit coming this summer. Whoop-dee-FUCKING-do. This means that the cashier now has to scan and bag the purchase which will slow down the order, considerably.
9. Meanwhile, the team leaders have absolutely no concept of how to manage the team members. There is a clipboard with all our schedcules on it for a fucking reason.
10. We all have to tuck in our fucking shirts, even if they no longer fit very well due to fucking shrinkage from fucking drying them.




Ok, I don't feel better yet. But I will. Because it's only one part of my life. And I am stronger & better than any one of those fucking people that comes into my fucking store. "Now let's all calm down and breathe. Relaaaaaaaaaaax. In, out, in out." Bologna Head, stop it - it's starting to sound like a porno. "Ok fine." All right, it's all better now. Venting is officially over for today. Tomorrow may be another story.

Kim 6:50 PM |