I Am Me

Thursday, March 25

My friend's reply to that email...it's classic: "Kim hella snapped."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa.....

You're goddamn right I hella snapped. I ain't takin this shit NO MORE!

Rawrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

Kim 9:28 PM |

This is an excerpt of an email I wrote last night (Tuesday) in the wee hours between midnight and sunrise to a very strong-willed, influential friend of mine.

I know it's late, but I told you I would write you an email. :-) Besides, today was important!

Ok, first of all, you're an amazing guy. Seriously. Your speech today, at times, made me cry. Now, that's not a bad thing. I cried, because it's really depressing how some people in this country, in this world think less of you, simply cuz you like guys. Dude, I think more of you, because of all the shit you've gone through. I think it's made you a really strong person.

I know a lot of people introduced themselves tonight with, "I wasn't going to speak, but. . . ". See, the people who didn't plan to speak, I think, definitely had something to say. And one of the messages I got tonight, was to stand up and speak against hatred. If we can't speak in a nonhostile environment, surrounded by friends, how are people ever going to find the courage to speak in smaller groups in a more hostile situation?

What usually happens at these rallies we have on campus (like the anti-racist rally last year) is this:
There'll be a sizable group that shows up at the rally, but then after that, nothing changes. We had the vagina monologues here, and we stirred up a lot of controversy. However, nothing happened afterwards. There was no uprising of vagina supporters post-monologues. What tends to happen is interest almost completely dies away. We had the antiracist rally during lunchtime, and then a discussion thingy at 7 that night. About 1/10th of the people showed up to the discussion as did the number of people at the morning rally.

It's disturbing how easily this college campus forgets that people are being attacked constantly.

Whether it's with words, physical attacks, or overt behavior, it's still happening. And it's still disturbing.

It's really important to me, as it should be to every American, that every single human being be treated equally. We are all just as important, just as valid as the next person, no matter what gender, creed, race, sexual orientation, or other description you can think of that describes a person.

The whole issue with the Defense of Marriage Act. See, there are just so many things WRONG with this. Let me see if I can name them.
1) I don't think it's right to have the government tell me who I can & cannot marry. If I fall in love with a man, it's fine. The government approves. Hoo-fucking-ray. If I fall in love with someone who completes me, but just so happens to be female, then OH NO... the government doesn't approve of THIS, but I did not ask the government for approval of how I live my life.
2) A lot of sentiment going into the whole gay-marriage-is-a-sin position, comes from a religious perspective. However, last time I checked, this United States of America had a SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE. This means we can't be having religious laws here. Ergo, we can't have laws against gay marriage, because that would be a violation of the separation of church & state.
3) Biggest issue here: EQUALITY. It's so important, I'll redundantly repetitiously repeat myself. EQUALITY. If I have the right to marry a man, then you should have the right to marry a man. Since you have the right to marry a woman (not that I see that happening in the near future) , I should have the right to marry a woman. Most importantly, we all have the right to pursue happiness. That should include marrying whomever you damn well please.
4) This amendment tells nonheterosexuals that they are not okay, they are unacceptable, and they will not even be tolerated in this society. Forget acceptance. If this amendment goes through, tolerance won't even exist.
5) A lot of people in American society are against pre-marital sex. If a nonheterosexual decided to try to conform to that standard of no sex before marriage, then they would never EVER have sex. I think most of all, this DOMA is about preventing nonheterosexuals fom getting it on. But there's something the government does not understand. And that is that no matter how many laws are passed, you can't change a homosexual into a heterosexual, you can't prevent gay sex from happening, and you shouldn't be telling some Americans to change and tell others they are fine.
6) Furthermore, don't anti-sodomy laws include oral sex? Why didn't Clinton or Monica Lewinsky get arrested for sodomy? They are apparently the worst transgressors of this, according to Ken Starr.


There is nothing different between heterosexuals and everyone else that warrants a lesser degree of equal rights. We all deserve equal treatment. Why the fuck does everybody else not seem to get this? Like you shouted tonight, you're gay.

Big deal.

There's something else wrong with this picture of hatred, too. People aren't just 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual or exactly 100% bisexual. I believe there are varying degrees in sexual orientation. How are we expected to feel comfortable exploring ourselves, finding out who we are, if we're constantly afraid, if we always fear that around the next corner lurks someone, hating us to the core, for even considering deviating from their line of heterosexuals. How are Americans expected to properly communicate if we fear our own feelings, especially expressing our true selves in front of others?

However, I shouldn't feel any pressure to decide to label myself a certain way. I shouldn't be worried that I'll never be married, never be happy, never have kids. Life shouldn't be about worries; it should be about the meaningful relationships I have with others. It shouldn't matter who I associate with, or who I love.

It should just matter that I love.

Kim 12:49 AM |

Wednesday, March 24

Bill Maher, comedian and social critic, had this to say on his most recent HBO show, Real Time With Bill Maher...

The piece is called Bi-Definition and is referring to the recent headline, "Bush Plans $1.5 Billion Drive For Promotion of Marriage"

You can't claim you're the party of smaller government and then make laws about love. On this Valentine's Day, let's stop and ask ourselves, "What business is it of the state how consenting adults choose to pair off, share expenses, and eventually stop having sex with each other?"

And why does the Bush administration want a constitutional amendment about weddings? Hey, why stop at weddings? Birthdays are important; let's put them in the great document. Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake. You know, to send the right message to kids.

Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security -- hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can't all marry Liza Minnelli.

You know, the Republicans used to be the party that opposed social engineering, but now they push programs to outlaw marriage for some people and encourage it for others. If you're straight, there's $1.5 billion in the budget to promote marriage, but gay marriage is opposed because it threatens or mocks or does something to the sanctity of marriage, as if anything you can do in Vegas drunk off your ass in front of an Elvis impersonator could be considered sacred.

Half the people who pledge eternal love are doing it because one of them is either knocked up, rich or desperate. But in George Bush's mind, marriage is only a beautiful lifetime bond of love and sharing, kind of like what his dad has with the Saudis.

But at least the rightwing aren't hypocrites on this issue. They really believe that homosexuality is an abomination and a dysfunction that's curable. They believe that if a gay man just devotes his life to Jesus, he'll stop being gay, because that worked out so well with the Catholic priests.

But I have to tell you that the greater shame in this story goes to the Democrats because they don't believe homosexuality is an abomination, and, therefore, their refusal to endorse gay marriage is hypocrisy.

Their position doesn't come from the Bible; it's ripped right from the latest poll, which says that most Americans are against gay marriage.

Well, you know what? Sometimes most Americans are just wrong, and where is the Democrat who will stand up and go beyond the half-measures of civil union and hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner and say loud and clear, "There is no sin, it's not an abomination, and no one can control how cupid aims his arrows; and the ones who pretend they can, usually turn out to be the biggest freaks."

The law in this country should reflect that some people are just born one-hundred-percent outrageously, fabulously, undeniably Fire-Island gay. And they do not need re-programming -- they need a man with a slow hand.

Bill Maher

Kim 12:29 AM |

Tuesday, March 16

You're Colombia!

You do a lot of drugs, and these have kind of distorted your view of
reality, to the point that everyone looks like an enemy.  You keep trying to restore
order over your schizophrenic world view, but you don't even know which goal is your own
and which is someone else's.  You're pretty sure someone needs to be punished for all
this, but who that is changes all the time.  Things would be a lot better for you if
you switched to coffee, or even to decaf, but all this money would be hard to give up.

Take
the Country Quiz at the href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

What the fuck....Columbia? Drugs? Fuck.....

Kim 11:02 AM |

Tuesday, March 9

Ok, so today was a great day. Thanks to my awesome friends, Clare & Sarah! :-D
Lots of fabulous shit happened today, and a few embarrassing things I'm never going to live down, but it's ok, because if I can't laugh through life, where's the fun in living, y'know? Anyhoo, take a gander at a day in the life of the most random person you know (ME):
8am: be really excited I got to sleep in - even if it's just an extra hour, and I went to bed an hour or so late.
9:30: decide to be productive and head across campus so Sarah can buy books.
9:40: decide I can run up to the records office and pick up an add slip and a drop slip and be back in the bookstore parking lot before Sarah's done buying books.
9:55: figure out I was WRONG...Sarah didn't have no line in the bookstore, so she just got her books and left in about 5 minutes, which in my defense, is a freakin' world record, m'k?
10: drop Sarah at class.
10-10:20: park illegally so I can hunt down my soon-to-be-ex art history professor so i can have her sign the drop slip.
10:20: Heave a huge sigh of relief when I see michelle walk out of my ex-classroom, knowing it's ok, because I'm dropping this class.
10:25: finally get through wading line of students still talking to the teacher about random art shit - she signs the paper - yay.
10:35: meet Clare in the library, where I park illegally (see a pattern?), and we chill and unwind for a few, before running errands together.
10:50: Realize we should take my car instead of walk, because my car is parked illegally. Attempt to parallel park on 7th avenue, and hear shit from Clare about my shitty parking talents, or lack thereof.
10:50-11:20: Run around with Clare, dealing with the most red tape bureaucracy has ever seen, just so Clare can be back...Yay! Clare's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!
11:25: meet Sarah in Java, study for a few.
12:35: decide its lunchtime because we're ravenous.
12:45: eat lunch, realize sarah forgot her fork, laugh silently in my head, and then she finally decides its worth it to go get one. Then, study while we chat/munch. Realize I've lost the goddamned signed drop slip. Realize I'm gonna have to waste another hour of my life on Thursday to do what I did today, to get another one.
2:15: Clare goes to class, so me and Sarah are gonna take my car back to the dorm. Since Clare made this huge producion about how horrible my parallel parking is, tha's where I remembered parking last. ahem, remembered and actual reality, are apparently very different things today. We got to 7th avenue, and of course my car isn't there. (If you were paying attention, I had parked it at the library to go back and meet Sarah) Proceed to freak out, thinking my car has been towed due to the world's worst parallel parking job EVER. Then, give up, and start hefting it uphill back to the dorm.
2:20: Realize about 20 paces laer that I had parked near the library. Then proceed to feel foolish FOREVER.
2:35: Crash in my room for a few. Decide that I need a break from my random idiocy, and it's only escapable via a nap.
4: Give up on napping, and go play pool.
4:30: Decide I won, because I was playing against myself.
4:40: laugh hysterically when Sarah finds out I "won".
5: rent a movie and fall asleep.
6:45: wake up, realize I've basically missed dinner, then find out christina is very interested in playing pool.
7: go back to the pool table, wipe the floor with her, and leave.
8: decide its dinner time.
8:35: decide I should start being productive, and STUDY.
9: watch Law & Order: SVU, even though it's a rerun.
10:30: finish studying, decide to tye up some loose ends on shit, so I meander online for a few.
11:15: decide I should update my blog.
midnight: decide it's best I sleep now.

There you have it. The randominity (randomness? randomability?) of a 20 year old college girl, with great friends. Yay! :-)

Kim 11:40 PM |

Friday, March 5

So, I work at this store. We'll call it, um, how about, "Kmart" - even though it really isn't Kmart - because the Kmart in my town is out of business. So, me & um, let's call my anonymous friend, "Bologna Head", (her suggestion) anyhoo, we work at this "Kmart", and we basically fucking hate it. No, wait, that's not accurate. We completely fucking hate it. There are so many things that drive us out of our heads about retail, and today, I'm willing to entertain the notion of listing these issues.

Top Ten Issues at "Kmart":
1. Working 6 hours straight without a fucking break or lunch.
2. Having to fill out an availability sheet 4 times or possibly more just to get our schedules straight.
3. Listening to the fucking "guests" vent to us over abso-fucking-lutely nothing relevant.
4. We refer to our paying (and nonpaying) customers as "Guests." How fucking stupid is that? I'm sure if a "guest" came into your home, you would want them to treat you with respect. However, even though these "guests" are not lodging overnight, or anything remotely similar to "hospitality" they think they own my fucking time for the next 8 hours or until I punch out. Just wait until we punch them out.
5. Why is it that the "guests" feel the need to treat us like fucking slaves, when we don't get paid enough to care about their goddamn issues? They think they can get away with anything, and it's supposed to be fine, because the customer is always right. Fuck the customer, fuck the company, fuck the goddamn motherfucking system of goddamn retail.
6. Also, although we are a store that is open 24 hours/day, 7 fucking days/week, that doesn't mean I have to fucking care about John Q. Public 24 hours/day, 7 fucking days/week.
7. Fucking "transformation" in progress. This fucking 84 year old president thinks he can reform the company and bring it into the fucking "new normal". What the FUCK is the new normal, you may ask? Well, it's this fucking concept they came up with that means almost jack-fucking-shit. Except, that it's supposed to mean we have to be able to compete with supercenters like fucking "walmart". Anyhoo, "kmart" is basically "reinterpreting" the job descriptions of the baggers, by making them clean the fucking bathrooms, and get the shopping carts is order by holding the baggers accountable with a quota of a certain number of carts per hour.
8. Also, we're supposed to have "scan & bag" shit coming this summer. Whoop-dee-FUCKING-do. This means that the cashier now has to scan and bag the purchase which will slow down the order, considerably.
9. Meanwhile, the team leaders have absolutely no concept of how to manage the team members. There is a clipboard with all our schedcules on it for a fucking reason.
10. We all have to tuck in our fucking shirts, even if they no longer fit very well due to fucking shrinkage from fucking drying them.




Ok, I don't feel better yet. But I will. Because it's only one part of my life. And I am stronger & better than any one of those fucking people that comes into my fucking store. "Now let's all calm down and breathe. Relaaaaaaaaaaax. In, out, in out." Bologna Head, stop it - it's starting to sound like a porno. "Ok fine." All right, it's all better now. Venting is officially over for today. Tomorrow may be another story.

Kim 6:50 PM |