I Am Me

Monday, January 26

I don't know how I get myself into this. I am so fucked right now.

Everything is piling on so fast, I can't finish anything these days. I feel overwhelmed, most definitely. Overwhelmed: to overpower; to crush; to bury; to oppress; charge someone with too many tasks; overcome, as with emotions or perceptual stimuli. I am all these things and more at the present moment. I'm about to have a friggin' meltdown, but I can't allow myself to have a full-fledged one, because I have to be at work in 10 minutes.

What could possibly happen in my life that would put me so drastically close to losing my mind, you ask? Well, a lot of different things at once.
1) I just failed my math test, and I now have a C in the course. I'm a fuckin'' Math Major. This shit should be a piece of fucking cake. I can't afford to let my GPA go down much farther. I'm so fucked.
2) I have a speech tomorrow that I still need a topic on. Once again, I was all gung-ho to NOT procrastinate on this, until I got my 92% grade back on the first speech that I finished writing about 1 hour before I gave it. Now, I feel rewarded for procrastination. However, I still have a lot of work to do with this thing before tomorrow, namely, all the work. Fucking procrastinator that I am....
3) I have a Theater quiz tomorrow also. Oooh, yay. What fucking fun. My motherfucking teacher is "quite surprised" that these quiz scores are so low. Well if you wanted to ask the most minute little details from a chapter of about 50-60 pages...You might need to curve those fuckin quizzes. Fuck me, Freddy.
4) I can't just sit there and study for hours on end. I also need to take care of my health. I need to eat regularly, sleep regularly, and I also need to go to work, so I can pay for shit. Also, if I just sat there and studied forever, I will, most definitely, lose my ever-lovin' mind. Fucking A.
5) Meanwhile, I can't just drop out of all my clubs. I've dropped Prism, even though it's still something I wanted to be a part of. I've dropped the Augie Democrats, even though this upcoming election is sorely in need of informed voters. Fucking Bush, Dick, & Colon.
6) And then there's this last weekend where I practically had a 3 day vacation. I just blew it and watched 6 movies in 2 days. I could have put all that effort into SOME kind of homework, or studying. SHIT.
7) My room is a mess, I need to do laundry, yet again, and wash my dishes. I still have dirty dishes from the 4th of January! No wonder my floor smells like fucking garbage.
8) I haven't showered since Saturday, even though I worked out yesterday. Boy, did I sweat...And all I wanted was a shower, but instead, I felt compelled to watch 3 movies.
9) I so have been craving watching the Boondock Saints & Pulp Fiction again. Seriously - Birthday presents people!!! - on DVD, por favor.
10) Oh, crap. Now I don't even have TIME TO FUCKING VENT!!
Gotta go to work.
Shit, Fuck, Crap.
That's a wrap, for now.
~Kim

Kim 10:14 AM |